Conversation Tips – How To Talk To Women
Look, when it comes down to getting a girlfriend, one of the greatest obstacles that men face is struggling to lead the conversation and move it in the right direction.
So here’s the bottom line: If you can’t carry on a cool conversation that moves things in the right direction, you won’t ever be super successful with women. But if your conversation skills are lacking, don’t worry – I can give you a few powerful tactics to help you out, and with some practice, you can become a master of conversing with girls. While some guys are naturally blessed with the “gift of gab,” other guys (like myself) were able to learn how to talk to girls effectively.
With consistent effort and practice over time, you can get better results with women than your silver-tongued brethren. That’s because you’ve developed a core foundation of skills for any situation you’ll encounter.
When you’ve got strong conversation skills and know the right topics to touch on, it creates more curiosity in the mind of a woman. She’ll be thinking to herself: “I wonder what he’s gonna say next?” This keeps her guessing, and wards off the biggest “attraction destroyer” for a woman: Boredom.
You don’t need to talk about deep subjects. In fact, you can keep the conversation light and playful. But it must never be boring. The ability to engage her in a fun conversation, that branches out into unexpected areas, can be the key advantage you have over the other guys…and it’s a surefire way to make her start feeling interested in you.
Five Golden Rules For Improving Your Conversation Skills
So let’s jump into it. Here are five of my favorite methods for turbo-charging your conversations with women.
1. Be perceptive, notice details, and be aware of your surroundings
You’ll never “run out of steam” during the conversation, and struggle to figure out what to say next, if you pay attention to the environment you’re in — and the people, places and things around you. . This can spark attraction in a woman, when she feels that you’re confident enough to lead the conversation and you’re tuned into your surroundings. You don’t ever want to her to suspect that you have an agenda, and that you’re TRYING to use lines or routines to trick her into “liking” you. Women have built-in, finely-tuned BS detectors, and if she feels you’re not being truthful with her (or you’re saying something just to get her into bed)… it’s game over, and you’re done.
2. Ask genuine, non-threatening questions
A lot of girls who regularly go out to bars and clubs have already heard the “PUA” routines from guys who learned them from books, or on the internet. Some of these PUA routines are in fact quite clever (and can be effective) – assuming she hasn’t heard them before. But you must remember that any lines or routines you use must be congruent with your personality and body language. You must project confidence and playfulness. The most clever “pickup routine” in the world will fail miserably if the guy delivering it is fidgeting nervously and can’t maintain eye contact. The best way to set yourself apart from other guys is to ask authentic questions… without an agenda or hidden motive. A woman needs to trust and feel safe around you before she’s willing to spend more time in a conversation.
True “players” don’t rely on corny lines they memorized from a website, they have the confidence to express genuine opinions and questions.
3. Be an active listener
Observe the interactions between guys and girls the next time you’re hanging out in a bar or club. You’ll notice that in most cases, the guy does most of the talking — usually in an effort to impress her. But the conversation game isn’t won by being the smoothest talker, or trying to “earn points” by bragging about who you know, the car you drive, the money you make, etc. It’s also about being an attentive listener. This may not come easily or naturally to you at first – especially if you’re an extrovert, or are nervous in social situations. You might need to start biting your tongue and holding back, in order to let her do more of the talking. People like other people who let them talk, and women will respect and appreciate you more. This also takes some of the burden off of you when you’re conversing with women. Instead of constantly trying to dominate the conversation and talking about yourself, ask her a thought-provoking question (check out the Mack Tactics book to learn some of these, especially the chapter on “Hypotheticals”) and then listen and appreciate what she has to say.
4. Don’t let her see you sweat, keep it light
Most women spend a lot of time worrying about any number of topics. A guy who can keep her mind off the worries of the world is someone she’ll want to spend more time with. Think of Hollywood icons such as Sylvester Stallone, George Clooney, Russell Crowe, Clint Eastwood, or John Wayne — these guys never seemed worried or anxious, and were able to handle any situation that arose. They also used a dose of humor now and then to show they were firmly in control. (James Bond, no matter which actors was portraying him, is another great example). When you radiate this type of confidence and control, women are going to want to follow your lead because you make them feel safe. By being cool, calm and relaxed at all times, and using humor (especially when things aren’t going according to plan, such as trying to talk to a girl in a loud, crowded nightclub), you’ll make her feel safe in your presence, and this is one of the prerequisites for making any woman feel attraction.
5. Stay “present” and in the moment
As guys, we think about a lot of things: The idiot that cut us off in traffic… what time tonight’s game starts… or what band is playing this weekend – and we don’t focus on the person or situation right in front of us. If you’re the type of guy who gets anxious or tongue-tied around hot girls, you might allow your thoughts to drift all over the place (“Does this girl like me?” “What if she has a boyfriend?” “Do I sound like a total dork?” Etc.). This mental chatter prevents you from being truly focused on the person or conversation at hand. This means that even though you might be standing right in front her, you are not truly “present.” And when women sense this, it’s a big turn-off.
Stay focused on her and make a conscious effort to eliminate the mental chatter going on inside your head. This means you’re truly engaged in a conversation, contributing and giving genuine feedback. Don’t behave like most guys do — nodding your head like a brainless “bobble head” doll and simply saying “uh-huh” or “yeah, totally” once in a while. Women aren’t fooled at all when you do this. You’ll seem apathetic (i.e. you really don’t care about what she’s saying), or just plain clueless and socially awkward. This certainly won’t score you any points with her, and she’ll probably want to excuse herself from the conversation before long.
Like anything, you’ll have to put in some effort and practice to hone your conversation skills – but the payoff goes far beyond just picking up girls, because these same skills can get you ahead with your career or your business pursuits. Everyone loves to be listened to and appreciated, whether it’s a babe you meet at the bar, or the guy sitting across the desk from you, interviewing you for a job.
Conversation is just one of the skills needed to be a badass with women. If you try to learn these skills and attitudes on your own without any guidance, you’re in for a long, ego-bruising journey (like I went through). Don’t try and “re-invent the wheel” when it comes to your social life. In the long run, improving your overall level of confidence, and your lifestyle, will attract far more women than memorizing a few clever or sneaky “routines” to make a woman drop her guard. I do believe in good, solid information that can help you become the rare man who can attract – and keep – a quality woman in your life.
Bonus Tips To Help You Get More Girls…
The mysteries behind successfully getting the girl find their roots in the skills and tricks for doing so. If you want to be in on these mysteries, you have to actively know the ways and practice them. You can actually get pointers from the experienced pick up artists who know their way around girls. If you already noticed, the great pick up artists arm themselves with interesting pick up lines, the necessary attitude, and lots of confidence to seal the deal.
Before you even put one foot in front of the other to approach the girl you like, you first have to check yourself. Do you look presentable – with trendy clothes that show you as a fashion-forward guy, not a fashion victim? Do you make it a point to dress appropriately for the place? Do you wear clean clothes that show you as a decent and well-mannered guy? These are questions that need resounding yeses as positive answers to the questions can greatly help you get the girl.
After checking your sense of style, you must then look into your body language to help you in getting the girl. Do you carry yourself with a confident air that tells the girl you are a person with authority? Do you walk with a certain strut that commands attention immediately and tells the ladies that you are the alpha male? Do you look at the girls straight in the eyes when talking to them; do you control your hands so that they do not betray your anxious and nervous feelings? If you answer yes, you are close to getting there.
Another thing you have to consider in getting the girl needs you to equip yourself with social proof. Social proof tells the girl that you are indeed part of a circle of friends and that you are considered as a valuable part. When the girl notices you moving with our friends in your own circle, she will see your worth as a person she should give some time to and a person worth talking to. Also, it is important to acquire more friends as many friends, from both sexes, can attest to your friendliness and your sociability. Remember, social proof is a good way to get a girl to notice you.
The last factor you need to get right when attempting to get the girl is your pick up line. There are various pick up lines of different genres to choose from: funny, sweet, naughty, corny, you name it, you can be sure to find it! You have to be ready with these pick up lines just in case you meet a girl who strikes your fancy; besides, saying the perfect line in the right setting can help you succeed in your endeavor. Of course, being prepared with a few great pick up lines for different places can give you more confidence if you are really put in that particular situation. However, you must be careful to communicate confidence even in your delivery of the line.
In summary, the tricks in getting girls to notice you are not so mysterious. There are no tried and tested pick up lines that give hundred percent success. You really have to do concrete things to get the job done. You have to dress to go with the latest fashion; carry yourself in a self-assured manner; and have lots and lots of friends. All these things plus an interesting pick up line can help you achieve incredible results with girls.
Download the famous Mack Tactics guide, and I’ll give you the exact “blueprint” you need to make powerful, lasting changes in your lifestyle and attitude. This book will teach you how to be incredibly clever and charming to the girls you talk to — but it will also give you the tools you need to create the overall image and lifestyle that attracts women TO you. Click the link below and get started.
Copyright 2011 – Conversation Advice – Talk To Girls
Category: How To Get Girls